A Pathological Problem
by SophiaLilith
Summary: [BL] OC's - Unlikely love between Slytherin, Sebastian and Gryffindor, Alex, is sparked on the night of the Battle of Hogwarts amidst terror and destruction. In a post-war age ruled by prejudice against Slytherins, Sebastian hatches a plan to reignite his relationship with Alex five years later. Think Twelfth Night but reversed and with Polyjuice potion. Some humour and angst.
1. Chapter 1 - In the Name of Love?

**I started a fanfic very similar to this a long time ago and wasn't happy with it. So I've re-hashed the whole thing and this is a sort of... version 2.0 if you like? Anyhow, this might go on for a long time and I plan to update it week by week!**

 **All places/characters that aren't my own belong to their respective creator.**

 **Enjoy! :)**

In the realm of marvellously twisted and messed up ideas that Sebastian had ever cooked up in his oh so quietly cunning mind, this had to be the most twisted and messed up of them all. His older brother, Vince, once told him that in order to execute a plan of the illegal kind, it must be done in the _name of something_. Vince's examples including things such as 'in the name of Justice', or 'in the name of mutual benefit' or, most commonly, 'in the name of money.' So, when Sebastian looked in the mirror and told himself that he was doing this 'in the name of… something' he had to continue asking himself 'what?' His justification had to be solid; Vince had assured him of that many times, but no matter how hard Sebastian thought about it, he couldn't come up with a solid reason for his unbelievably unbelievable plan. So he tried this: 'in the name of solving an old problem.' It was weak. Weak, and he knew it, for what he was doing not only broke school rules, but Ministry ones too. Cross-dressing and a few minor transfiguration spells might have done the job just as well, but it was too late now – the Polyjuice potion was made, and Sebastian had taken on his new form. Now, the performance of his plan was all too real, whether he liked it or not. So it went like this: He had become a girl – yes - a _girl_ , in the name of solving an old problem.

"There's something wrong with me." Sebastian said to his new reflection with his new voice.

The eventual hatching of this undeniably insane, yet genius plan of Sebastian's own making was all owed to that infamous night five years ago: the battle of Hogwarts. Sebastian had only been a first year then; a first year Slytherin who had experienced possibly the worst first year in Hogwarts history under the rule of the notorious Carrows and Professor Snape. Arguably, the coming years might have easily been the unluckiest time to be a Slytherin in the wake of a battle fought by kind-hearted Hufflepuffs, ingenious Ravenclaws and the outrageously brave Gryffindors of Hogwarts in a time of desperate need. But where had those Slytherins been? Cast into the dungeons in shame for having been associated with the very forces battling against them – sent home to languish, safe and out of harm's way – or, in Sebastian's case, running full speed through the deserted streets of Hogsmeade in a very muddy pair of slippers, his favourite stripy pyjamas and a torn dressing gown. The details had become blurry over time, so Sebastian didn't so much remember _getting_ to Hogsmeade as well as he remembered spending an entire night there; he vaguely recalled running to hide inside a suit of armour when all of the first years were assembled to be evacuated. He recollected fleeing from the metal exoskeleton when its form was suddenly animated to life and forced into the slough of battle by a raging Professor McGonagall, in which he was sure a large piece of his dressing gown was torn by the armour's sharp sword – _but anyway_ – there he was, bolting as fast as his tiny legs could carry him until he found himself in - Hogsmeade. Now, this might not sound so terrible; Hogsmeade was, after all, a recreational and charmingly picturesque village home to many wizarding attractions that Sebastian had read about in the library long before he had ended up there by chance. But Hogsmeade was strictly off limits to first and second years. Only third years and above were allowed to venture through its dandy, fairy lit pathways in full daylight, accompanied by their peers with express permission from their guardians. So to be there alone, at night, the booms and blazing lights of ensuing battle raging behind him, was terrifying to say the least. Until –

" _Psst_."

Eleven year old Sebastian whipped around in panic, peering with divided vision around the empty doorways. He grasped his wand from where he'd hastily stuffed it in his dressing gown pocket and held it aloft with shaking hands.

" _Psst!_ " The sound came again, more alert, from the doorway of The Three Broomsticks.

"Who's there?" Sebastian demanded, his voice substantially lacking in the courage and maturity it needed to carry across his demand with any sense of conviction.

"Quick, get in here!" Said the little urgent voice from the shadows. In his fear, Sebastian failed to recognise the voice as another boy's and immediately thought: _Death Eater._

"Don't try anything!" He yelled. "Or I'll – I'll" –

"You'll what?" Came the disbelieving reply. "Don't be stupid or someone will see you! Hurry up!"

And that was how Sebastian met Alex. _Truly_ met him, that was. He'd seen Alex in school; watched him get sorted at the start of the year, observed with uncaring eyes as the boy's friendship group and popularity grew to an impressive circle that constantly accompanied him wherever he went. And Sebastian continued to watch over the coming months and years, only with keener eyes and sharper ears. But at this very point in time, Alex had been simply a boy to Sebastian – a boy who was willing to pull him away from danger and let him into his own, small space of safety that was, apparently, The Three Broomsticks.

Sebastian tumbled into the pub and Alex firmly shut the front door behind him a second later.

"What are you?" Alex demanded, hands on hips as he stood tall above Sebastian. Alex, unlike Sebastian, was not donned in pyjamas, but a blazing red jumper that was noticeably a tad too big for him around the shoulders and loose fitting trousers, his wand holstered like a sword at his belt. Alex's bronze curls stuck up around his head in a messy halo and fierce green eyes blazed down at Sebastian. He was all colour and presence, nothing short of extreme.

"W-what am I?" Sebastian repeated, still horribly shaken from his ordeal. "I'm human."

Alex rolled his eyes as though what Sebastian had said was blindingly obvious, which, of course, it was. "No, I mean - what are you, stupid or something?"

Sebastian gulped, gazing up at his new companion on this strange night, drinking in his glowing, over-zealous stature. For a boy the same age as Sebastian, Alex knew how to hold himself with a confidence that Sebastian wasn't familiar with. Sebastian thought he understood confidence, growing up with an older brother who brimmed with it, but he would soon learn that Vince's confidence and Alex's were two very different things. Vince oozed an air of 'I'll know what you're thinking before you do', whereas Alex… well… Sebastian was scared of him at first.

"What are you doing running around in the middle of the night with Death Eaters around?" Alex asked, still not concerned with helping Sebastian up from the cold floor.

"I was lost." Said Sebastian truthfully.

Alex snorted. "But you can still see the castle from here."

"Yeah." Sebastian began to straighten up defensively, "Haven't you ever been lost in the castle before?"

Alex stopped for a second, stumped that this boy much smaller than him had comeback with a valid question that might just invalidate his insult. He shrugged. "Dunno. You're dirty. Did you fall over?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Don't think so. Maybe. Probably."

Alex regarded him openly. "What's your name?"

"Sebastian Murlock."

"Oh. I don't recognise you."

Sebastian couldn't say he was surprised. He doubted that many people in his own house recognised him. In the Carrows' presence, Sebastian had learnt to keep his head down; stick to the shadows, as it were. This became a habit very quickly and he made little effort to talk to anyone outside of his own family.

"I don't recognise you either." He lied.

Alex thrust his hand underneath Sebastian's nose. "I'm Alexander Fawley. You can call me Alex. And before you ask, no. I'm not a Death Eater."

Sebastian frowned. "I wasn't going to." He rubbed his neck – he couldn't remember when or how he'd twisted it. "And I'm not either."

Alex laughed. "I know that. You're way too small to be one of them."

"So are you." Sebastian protested.

Alex scoffed. " _Actually_ , I'm the tallest in my year."

Sebastian wiped his nose and stumbled upright. The pub was dingy in the dark. The timber roof creaked and groaned above them, tiny knocks sounding from inside the walls. He shuddered – the whole building felt alive with anticipation… or perhaps that was just him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked Alex.

Alex grinned. "Building a fort. Wanna see?"

Sebastian blinked. "How did you _get_ here?" He elaborated.

"I apparated." Said Alex, puffing out his chest.

"B-but you're eleven." Sebastian gasped. "I thought you weren't allowed to apparate until you're seventeen."

"I'm twelve, actually," Alex sniffed, extremely smug, "and I've been doing it for ages. My uncle is the head of the Department of Transportation so naturally he taught me a thing or two."

Sebastian was gazing at Alex with a new kind of awe, his fear slowly dissipating. "C-can you teach me?"

Alex turned away, tapping his chin. "Weeell, I don't know about that. It's very dangerous and _technically_ I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Hmm. I'll think about it." He hummed ambiguously. "You have to look at my fort first."

Sebastian nodded fervently. "I will, I will!"

Alex guided him through the cold abandoned tables of the Three Broomsticks and up a flight of wooden stairs near the back. An uneven corridor ran the length of the building, numbered rooms lining it.

"So, it's an inn too…" Sebastian muttered.

"Cool, right? Just through here." Alex pushed open the door to room 12 and Sebastian decided this must be the biggest room of them all because there was no way every room in the building was this huge. The king-size bed, however, had been stripped of its blankets and sheets and pillows, all of which were stacked into an elaborate structure in the middle of the floor space.

Alex strode to the pillow fort's entrance. "Ta-da!" He exclaimed, theatrically thrusting his arms wide.

Sebastian laughed. "So _this_ is your fort."

The smile slid off Alex's face right away. "Yeah?" He challenged. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing!" Said Sebastian. "I just thought you meant like a _proper_ fort."

Alex crossed his arms. "It doesn't have to be made of bricks and steel to be a proper fort. Besides, this fort is reinforced with loads and loads of spells and stuff so…"

"We're not allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts." Said Sebastian, scandalised.

Alex rolled his eyes. "I doubt they'll be checking up on a kid with everything else that's going on."

As if on cue, a _boom_ that rattled the loose floorboards beneath them shivered beneath them. Sebastian felt a vice-like grip on his arm, and turned to see that Alex had grabbed him, his face drained of colour.

"It's a great fort." Said Sebastian quietly, "Shall we go inside?"

Alex blinked twice and let his arm drop from Sebastian's. "Yeah." He agreed, an edge to his voice.

"My brother and I used to build forts like this all the time, only… they weren't quite like this. They were smaller and – less magic, I suppose." Said Sebastian. He parted the sheets at the entrance and crawled onto the squashy, cushioned floor, then drew his wand. " _Lumos_." He whispered, and the shelter was alight with a soft glow.

Alex gasped. "What are you doing?"

"It's like you said. The ministry isn't going to be checking up on a kid using magic outside of school. Not tonight."

Alex nodded and regained his composure with a small, dismissive laugh. "Yeah, yeah. I know that."

Who knew that such a small barrier to the outside world could provide such an abundance of warmth and distraction for the two boys? The next few hours passed like a dream for Sebastian. He and Alex talked about anything and everything – their favourite subjects at school, their families, Alex's rare find of three Carlotta Pinkstone Chocolate Frog cards in one sitting, which then sparked a heated debate as to whether Chocolate Frogs _really were alive_ – anything and everything _except_ what was happening just outside the door. When they got hungry, the boys ransacked the pantry downstairs and feasted on pumpkin juice, corned beef sandwiches, pumpkin pasties and – yes – Chocolate Frogs. The fort soon became a mess of crumbs, melted chocolate stains and splashes of juice, but it was a haven better than the two ever could have wished for in the aftermath of the experiences both had accumulated in the space of a night. Despite all of their efforts, not even their illusion was shatter-proof against the horrors outside. The worst horror of them all echoed as a voice above them, ricocheting through the fort into their very beings; the voice of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, demanding that Harry Potter relinquish himself in lieu of the deaths of every man, woman and child. Sebastian had never felt such fear, such horror since that night. Instinctively, the boys extinguished the light of their wands, plunging them into darkness.

"It's him, he's here." Alex started to mutter. "He's found us. He's going to kill us."

In the dark, Sebastian fumbled for Alex's hand and found it, clinging hard. "He's not here. It's just a voice. It's just a voice, Alex. He's not here for us."

Then Alex started to cry. Their haven had vanished, as quickly as it had come. Sebastian tried to quiet Alex, whispering empty, soothing words over and over again, but, just as before, he couldn't hide his own fear. In the cold and the dark, the boys lay atop the cushions inside their shelter, curled up together for comfort and warmth. Neither of them could sleep. Neither of them wanted to sleep for fear of the dangers outside.

"What time is it?" Alex whispered, his eyes screwed tightly shut.

"I don't know." Said Sebastian, pressing their foreheads together. They waited. Waited for the noises outside to come hurtling at their door. But none came, it was all silent, save for their heartbeats thudding at an immeasurable pace, deafening them. The minutes came and went, and they lay like that together until their bodies gradually relaxed as the threat passed.

"You know, I lied." Alex said, opening his eyes and gazing at Sebastian in the faded dim. "I didn't really use any magic on this fort, so… it's not safe."

"I know." Said Sebastian, "But that doesn't mean it's not magic."

At this point, the pair were tangled in each other, all arms and legs and pyjamas and cushions. They were nothing outside of themselves, the world outside paled into insignificance. Sebastian couldn't remember who started it. He wasn't even sure if either of them _had_ started it. It had just… happened. They were eleven and twelve, inexperienced and kissing just for comfort. Sebastian remembered the warmth and feel of Alex's chocolate flavoured lips against his own, hungry for the reassurance of safety and intimacy that words couldn't bring. It didn't feel wrong or weird or in the slightest bit uncomfortable. Sebastian's fingers were threaded in Alex's curls, tugging him closer and both of Alex's arms enveloped Sebastian's waist, squeezing him. They kissed for an immeasurable length of time, finding mind-numbing relief in the act itself, neither of them thinking about what it meant or why they were doing it. Like this, the boys finally broke apart and fell into a dreamless sleep in each other's arms, content in each other's company and plagued by the exhaustion only a night like that could bring.

Sebastian's last thought before drifting into unconsciousness wrapped in Alex's arms was that if he could relive this night over and over for eternity, he would. But all too soon, morning came, and when it did, Sebastian was alone in the fort, bright morning light shedding warm light into room 12. It was an understatement to say that Madam Rosmerta had been more than shocked when a dazed and sleepy eleven year old boy with chocolate stains down his pyjamas came wandering down the stairs. That day passed in a blur. It was surreal, being embraced by his teary parents and eldest brother, all alive in front of the ruins of Hogwarts, and all the while Sebastian could do nothing but look out for a red jumper and messy bronze curls. But amidst the celebrating students, the tears, the mourning, the worrying and cuddling, the previous night faded like a good dream. Those summer holidays might have been the strangest of Sebastian's life, passed in a trance-like state, he watched as the world he knew crumbled around him. Vince warned him then: Keep your head down, things are about to become a lot worse for ? Sebastian had asked. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was dead. All muggle-borns, themselves included, were free from persecution and Azkaban was fuller than it had ever been. Sebastian hadn't wanted to believe Vince's answer; that just by being a Slytherin he would be viewed as a criminal. But Vince had been right. Entering into second-year had been a nerve-wracking ordeal. Not only was Sebastian anxious as to how his non-Slytherin peers would receive him, but he'd see Alex for the first time since they'd been kissing in that fort. What would Alex say to him? What would he say to Alex? Nothing. Nothing, turned out to be the answer, because it soon came to light that the two were divided in differences more than Sebastian had cared to think about. Alex was a Gryffindor – he'd known that from the start. But it had not occurred to him that Alex had not realised that Sebastian was a Slytherin. They shared one, crucial interaction at the welcoming feast that told Sebastian all he needed to know on Alex's opinion of him. It had just been a look – one look as Sebastian had dared to glance over at the Gryffindor table as he followed his house mates to the Slytherin table, only to find a pair of wide, confused green eyes fixed on his every move. And then the realisation spread over Alex's face that had sent a shot of dread, and for some reason, guilt through Sebastian. Their eyes had met, and it was Sebastian who turned away first.

It was that look that rid Sebastian's hope of ever speaking to Alex again. Not that he'd get a chance to anyway. Alexander Fawley rapidly became Gryffindor's poster boy. Seeker and Captain of the Quidditch team by sixth year, excelling in Defence against the Dark Arts and Charms respectively, Alex shone as the star - the hero pupil of not only Gryffindor but the entirety of Hogwarts. He was rarely seen without his hoard of followers and fans, each vying for his attention in attempts that Sebastian could only describe as pathetic. So why, then, did Sebastian still religiously watch Alex from afar, only to avert his gaze whenever their eyes threatened to meet? Why had he placed himself behind Alex in every class they shared? Why did he still remember the feel of Alex's lips against his own whenever he ate a Chocolate Frog? And not just Chocolate Frogs anymore, now all chocolate was cursed for Sebastian – forever tainted by the bitter experiences that led him to these problems in the first place. In Sebastian's mind, it had become a pathological problem that needed to be solved by any means necessary before he was driven to insanity. It wasn't until sixth year that a solution presented itself to Sebastian, a solution so outrageously bizarre that he knew it had to be executed.

That brought him to here.

Sebastian gazed, dumbfounded at his new, unfamiliar reflection. Months of preparation and waiting and careful planning had brought him to this. And he wasn't even half-way to his goal. A pair of pleasant, honeyed eyes with eyelashes shorter than his own gazed at him. A small mouth gaped in shock. Thick, chestnut curls tumbled over his shoulders, framing his delicate, heart-shaped face. But this wasn't his face. It was Amanda Parson's.


	2. Chapter 2 - Hair

Mid fifth year, Sebastian had earned himself a part-time Saturday job at the Three Broomsticks. He'd entered on a whim; the first time since his night with Alex, and was pleased to learn that Madam Rosmerta didn't recognise him. He shouldn't have been surprised – he was, after all, half a foot taller and in need of a shave. Asking for the job, too, had been spontaneous since he overheard her mention a shortage of staff to one of her customers.

On the assumption that Madam Rosmerta might be prejudiced, Sebastian applied for the job under the pretence that he was a Hufflepuff – an easy feat to accomplish; he was good at being nice to people he didn't know.

It wasn't bad, really. Cleaning dishes from 1pm-5pm with a pay of three galleons an hour was certainly worth the effort. It was distracting and somewhat nostalgic to while away the time in the toasty kitchens, though it certainly did absolutely nothing to dampen the feelings he still harboured for Alex. Sebastian didn't work alone in the Three Broomsticks. By sixth year, he was joined by part-timer Amanda Parson, Ravenclaw. She was smart, resourceful as most Ravenclaws tended to be, but until now, Sebastian had never considered her as potentially useful to _him_. She'd been kind enough to neglect telling Madam Rosmerta the truth about his house, and he figured this was partially due to how he'd treated her on his first encounter. Now, Sebastian didn't pride himself as much of a looker – perhaps if he did he'd be almost as popular as Alex, but he understood how girl's minds worked all too well, and when he and Amanda had met for the first time, he hadn't failed to notice the once over she'd given him – the quick 'I wonder if I'd fancy you' sort of look. Sebastian had played to all of her charms, listening intently to everything she said to him (or, at least pretending to listen), offering to help her with the smallest of errands and duties in the kitchen while portraying a charisma about his manner that implied some sort of self-confidence which was all too convincing thanks to the lessons he'd learned from his brother. Vince, being a _real_ conman, had taught Sebastian all he knew about seducing people of every size and shape, and though Sebastian didn't necessarily put these methods into practice as a habit, he knew when such skills might come in useful – such as they had with Amanda. Not only had she kept her silence, she was also exceedingly nice to him when they met for work. With a stretch of the imagination, Sebastian might say he'd consider her a friend.

Things were very different in school though, and he couldn't blame her. She made no advances to talk to him or give him a second look to suggest that they could be connected, and Sebastian, too, made no effort to spark an interaction between them.

The pieces of Sebastian's plan started to come together before he'd even thought of it, in the October of sixth-year. It had been a stroke of luck that Sebastian had unintentionally overheard a snippet of conversation between Alex and another Gryffindor girl (Sebastian couldn't remember her name) at the end of one ordinary Potions lesson.

Potions was Sebastian's strongest subject alongside Care of Magical Creatures. He was still yet to decide where a combination of these two hideously opposed fields would take him. However, this one particular lesson, Sebastian had stayed behind for a minute or two to discuss with Professor Slughorn the availability of Venemous Tentacula and its potential uses in rare poisons when upon exiting the classroom, he had seen Alex, surprisingly unaccompanied save for this other Gryffindor girl who had turned a spectacular shade of scarlet having being spoken to by the poster boy himself. This was what Sebastian heard:

"… true that you're friends with Amanda Parson? She's a Ravenclaw I think."

"Oh! Yes, yes – we're good friends, why? Did you want to speak to her?"

"Yeah, if you could pass on a message…"

And then Sebastian had to carry on walking because if he'd lingered for any longer he would have looked suspicious. His walk back to his dormitory had been numb – pulsing with dread and jealousy and disappointment and all the things in between because all that Sebastian could gather from that conversation was that ' _Alex likes someone and it isn't me'_. Not only that, but she was the girl he worked with.

Sebastian couldn't help himself when the next Saturday came.

"Amanda, what do you think of Alexander Fawley?" He had been sure to use Alex's full name in order to distance himself. Saying 'Alex' would have implied familiarity and he needed to seem objective, neutral even, concerning him.

Amanda paused washing the dishes (she was awfully slow at that, Sebastian did a much better job), her mouth open in a small 'o'; it wasn't often that Sebastian initiated a conversation. Then she wrinkled her nose.

"The Gryffindor Quidditch guy? I don't know… he's a bit – obnoxious maybe?" Then she laughed. "I've never spoken to him. I can't really be sure."

A twelve year old boy in a bright red jumper with his wand strapped to his belt like a sword flashed to mind. Sebastian smiled fondly. "Obnoxious. Definitely."

"I gather you don't like him very much." Said Amanda, handing him a plate to dry. "I suppose you wouldn't: being a Slytherin and all."

Oh, how wrong she was.

"Something like that." Said Sebastian, which led to a curious gaze from Amanda. She was much shorter than he was, so he could see her every move through his peripheral vision, whether he wanted to or not.

"Why'd you bring him up all of a sudden?" She asked.

Sebastian shrugged. "I heard some things."

It was time to stop. He knew it. But he couldn't.

"Things?"

Sebastian paused. "Yeah. I heard he likes you."

It was a lie, but not so far from the truth. He'd heard Alex talking about her. Wanting to meet her. Wasn't that the same?

Amanda gaped at Sebastian. "You've got to be _joking_!" She exclaimed. "But he's such a… a… I mean he's so…"

Sebastian was pleased to see that she hadn't blushed or started giggling or anything stupid like that. She didn't like him back then. That was a good sign. Sebastian wasn't sure why he was so pleased – it wasn't as though this meant any progress for his own unrequited feelings. Alex had, after all, never once made a move to so much as talk to him since that night five years ago.

"Obnoxious?" Sebastian finished for her with a smirk.

Amanda grimaced. "Yeah. I can't believe it. I _won't_ believe it. I'd much rather go on a date with a Flobberworm than him, thank you very much."

Sebastian laughed for real this time. He had to admire Amanda for her blunt attitude if nothing else.

It was late October, and Autumn was at its peak. Sebastian didn't expect to hear any progress on the Alex and Amanda situation but, surprisingly, one week later Amanda gave Sebastian the news that inspired Sebastian to act on his own.

"You'll never guess what." Amanda said to him while the wind howled outside. A storm brewed in the dark, heavy clouds, ready to lash rain and thunder and all calibres of vile weather that Sebastian preferred to steer clear of.

"What?" He asked.

"Fawley tried to talk to me the other day." She leant in, whispering as though she was about to tell an outrageous joke. Sebastian almost dropped the plate he was holding.

"Tried?"

Amanda scoffed. "Yeah, it was really weird. He came up to me after breakfast on Thursday in the Great Hall. He kept looking around and he wouldn't look at me properly, so I asked him what was the matter and he went, _'You know what, this was a stupid idea. Sorry. See ya'_ , and sauntered off! I was stood there like a lemon with everyone watching – Merlin's beard it was odd." She finished, shaking her head.

Sebastian frowned, thinking hard to himself. "Yeah… Odd. I guess he chickened out."

Amanda shrugged. "Whatever it was – I don't know. He's a weird guy. I don't think he knows what to say without one of his mates speaking for him. I always got the impression he was a bit thick."

Sebastian shook his head. "He's not thick. He got the best results for Defence against the Dark Arts last year. And he was second place for charms."

Amanda stared. Sebastian cursed himself inwardly. "… Are you rivals?"

Sebastian looked at her and smiled. "Yeah. But I'm winning."

She smiled back, light brown eyes charmed by his careful attention aimed at her. His trick had worked.

"That can't be too difficult." She said.

"You'd be surprised."

After that, their shift was almost over, and Madam Rosmerta called Amanda to the bar. Before she left, Amanda pulled a hairbrush out of her bag and raked through her long, chestnut-coloured curls before thrusting it back in. She always did that, Sebastian noticed; religiously brushed her hair before starting a new task. He found himself staring at the shiny, black handle of her hairbrush, innocently poking out of her bag. She had marvellous hair – so long and shiny and curly, no wonder Alex fancied her. While Amanda was out of the room, Sebastian dared himself to take the hairbrush in his own hands – he wasn't sure why. The fresh, auburn and brown hairs, straight from her head, were tangled in the bristles. Wound, and bound and shiny. That was when Sebastian hatched his plan; in that instantaneous second, Sebastian's plan unfurled and grew and was born into something so against every rule he'd been taught yet so air-tight and fail-safe if executed properly – and he knew he could do it. Realising this and with seconds to spare before Amanda returned, Sebastian grabbed a clump of the tangled hairs from the bristles and yanked them free, shoving them into his pocket.

Little did he know that this was the start of his most interesting and dangerous year at Hogwarts.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Plan

Sebastian allowed himself six-weeks to prepare for his plan, starting from November. Two weeks to get the ingredients necessary for the potion (that wouldn't be easy – he still hadn't figured out how he'd do that), and a month to let it brew – as to _where_ he would brew it, he still had no plan; that, too, was yet to be decided. Sebastian had, without trouble, obtained a note from Professor Slughorn to enter the restricted section of the library and taken out a copy of _Moste Potente Potions_. Sebastian had borrowed the book before – Madam Pince had thrown him more than one suspicious glance when he checked it out for a second time. He had Amanda's hairs already, but his list of ingredients was quite extensive.

· _Fluxweed_

· _Knotgrass_

· _Lacewing Flies_

· _Leeches_

· _Horn of Bicorn_

· _Boomslang Skin_

It was with nail-biting anxiety that Sebastian realised he would need help – at least partially. But the thought about telling anyone what he was doing – or more accurately – _why_ he was doing this, made his stomach churn. There was only one person in the world he trusted enough to ask for help.

" _Sebby_ , what are you doing moping around the common room at this time of night?"

 _Speak of the devil and she shall appear,_ thought Sebastian, glancing up from the book.

Willow Shacklebolt, daughter of Kingsley Shacklebolt, current Minister for Magic had been Sebastian's friend since second year. She'd sort of made up her mind to stick to him one day; decided he was a lonely creature in need of pity and company – both of which she plied Sebastian with endlessly. Neither of which he particularly wanted or asked for. Sebastian guessed he was probably refreshing company given that most of her so-called friends only hung around because they viewed her as a source of influence. Her father _was_ the Minister for Magic after all.

"I'm not moping, I'm reading. And don't call me that." He said flatly, turning the page, despite not even having finished the one he was on. The action made him seem busy. Maybe she'd go away.

"Sebby, what are you up to?" Willow mused, leaning over his shoulder. "You've been quiet recently."

Sebastian frowned. "That's hardly new. You always tell me I'm quiet"

She pursed her lips and tapped her chin. "Well, yes. You're practically mute. But you've been… _differently_ quiet. You're distracted by something. That's rare. It's a bit unnerving, actually."

"You must be getting bored." Sebastian sighed. "You pick on me when you get bored."

Willow swung around his armchair and threw herself into the one opposite. She crossed her legs and regarded him in such a scrutinising way that he had to avert his gaze. Her almost-black eyes glared straight into his soul and she used the armchair as though it was a throne.

"You keep avoiding my question."

"Well spotted."

She narrowed her eyes, focussing her soul-splitting glare. "Are you in trouble, Murlock?"

 _Not yet_. "No. And I don't intend to be."

"You will be if you go and make a Polyjuice potion in school."

Sebastian almost choked on thin air. "Poly – what? Who said anything about Polyjuice potion?"

Willow smirked. "I _knew_ it." She said triumphantly, leaning forwards with a cunning glitter in her eye. She was the definition of dodgy. If Alex was Gryffindor's poster boy, Willow would be Slytherin's poster girl.

Sebastian felt the flush of heat rise to his face. He grit his teeth.

"I'm not – I mean – I've not done anything yet." He said defensively.

"Oh, good." She hummed, "So I can help, then."

Quickly, Sebastian glanced around the empty common room. It was definitely empty. The shimmering, green reflections from the Lake-window tricked his eyes from time to time. Occasionally, the shadow of the giant squid zoomed by. It sometimes struck him how close they were to Hogwarts' monsters.

He sighed deeply. "I didn't ask for your help."

Willow flashed him a grin. "But you need it. You've been staring at that page for half an hour at least."

Sebastian stared. "How long have you been in here?"

She shrugged. "Long enough to guess what you're up to. For god's sake, man, you have a list of ingredients out on your knee. How could I _not_ notice?"

He chewed his lip. She didn't miss a trick.

"You won't tell anyone?"

She scoffed. "Why would I do that? I'd lose my only real friend if you got kicked out."

Sebastian couldn't help but smile a little. Real friend – how nice. "And besides," She continued, "I've done a lot worse than dabble in a little illegal potion-making."

"Yeah, right."

"I have! Who do you think transfigured Natalie Ford's cat into one of Hagrid's rock cakes?"

Sebastian's jaw dropped. "You didn't."

"I won't tell you who ate it. I don't want to shock you too much, dear. But that's beside the point: I _can_ help – if you'll let me."

Sebastian regarded her. In truth, he'd already made up his mind. She was the one human being on the planet he'd considered asking as it was, but he didn't want to seem so easy.

"What do you want in return?" He asked carefully.

"Hmm…" She leant back in the armchair. "Tell me why you're doing it." She demanded.

"No freaking way."

"Is it something to do with Fawley?"

Sebastian leapt from his chair. " _If you already know that then why are you asking?_ " He growled.

Willow threw back her head and laughed. "You're so easy to read, Seb."

"You're a Legilimens, aren't you?" He accused, jabbing a finger at her.

She raised an eyebrow. " _Yes_ , but I didn't have to read your mind to figure it out. You spend half of dinner _staring_ at him and the other half reading poncy Potions books. The only thing I can't work out is whether you're trying to shag him or kill him."

Sebastian glared at her. "You're despicable."

"Or is it both? Oooh, that would be interesting. There's more to you than meets the eye, Seb."

"Look who's talking." He breathed.

"Well then? Why are you doing this?" She asked.

Sebastian sank back into his chair, staring at the stone floor. "There was an – incident in first year. It happened during the battle of Hogwarts, actually. Something happened and I want to put it right."

Willow's eyes widened. "So this is a revenge thing? What are you gonna do? Disguise yourself as one of his roommates and then jump him in his sleep? God, I'd kill to see that."

Sebastian met her eye. "Not exactly."

When Sebastian told Willow _who_ he was going to transform into, she gaped at him like a fish, lost for words for once.

"Amanda Parson?! A – a _girl_?! You're going to transform into a girl?!"

Sebastian nodded slowly, his serious mask not cracking for an instant.

She puffed up her cheeks and blew outwards in a long, low huff. "Merlin's beard. I didn't expect that. And what does Amanda Parson have to do with Alexander Fawley?"

Sebastian was silent. "At least let me keep that to myself."

Willow glowered at him for a full ten seconds. "Fine. For now. But if things start heading South, you tell me everything. And I mean _everything_ – deal?"

"Deal." Said Sebastian. And he meant it.

Having Willow on board made all the difference, and Sebastian couldn't deny it. She was quick, efficient and was crafty with solutions to say the least. She'd definitely been bored, too. Sebastian hadn't seen her this excited since fourth year when half of Slytherin house teamed up for a food fight against the Gryffindors in the kitchens (a fair few house elves were taken to St. Mungo's for Post-Traumatic Stress. This had earned Willow a permanent ban from ever holding ownership over one herself "s'alright," she'd said after being told the news by a livid Professor McGonagall, "it's slavery, anyway").

"Where are you going to make the potion without getting caught?" Willow probed one chilly afternoon in the library. It was a free period and they'd finished their Transfiguration homework. The library was quiet at this time of day so they could talk relatively safely.

"I was thinking… I dunno… my room?"

"What, and set your bed curtains on fire? Genius." She rolled her eyes. "No. How about the girl's bathroom on the first-floor? It's flooded and no one goes in there. They all think it's cursed."

"It _is_ cursed!" Sebastian protested. He lowered his voice after a rather forceful _hush_ from behind a bookshelf, "The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is in there. Obviously no one goes in for good reason!"

Willow regarded him with disdain. "You're not that stupid, Seb. The Basilisk is dead. Harry Potter killed it. I doubt its skeleton is going to rise from the depths and bite us in the arse. And besides, can _you_ speak Parseltongue?"

"Dunno, never tried."

"Then there's nothing to worry about, is there? The Chamber isn't going to open on its own - certainly not for the likes of us."

Sebastian grimaced. "It's not just that. What about Moaning Myrtle?"

Willow sneered. "You don't need to worry about that. You're a boy. She'll like you."

Sebastian wrinkled his nose. "I don't want Moaning Myrtle to like me."

"I thought you cared about this plan."

"I do!" Said Sebastian, mortally offended.

"Then stop whinging!" Willow hissed. "You don't get to pick a nice location – not if you don't want to get caught."

Sebastian bit his tongue to keep from retorting. She was right. "Fine. Girl's bathroom it is then."

"It'll be good practice." Willow winked. "You'll be using the girl's toilets yourself soon enough."

Sebastian shivered. "Don't remind me."

Two of the ingredients on Sebastian's list were impossible to get hold of legally. He'd either have to travel to Africa and skin a Boomslang himself, or raid Professor Slughorn's store cupboard. Both feats sounded as difficult as the other, but when presented to Willow, she assured Sebastian that she'd "take care of it." Sebastian didn't like the sound of that because it definitely meant she was going to do something she wasn't allowed to. Then he thought of Natalie Ford's cat and decided she probably knew what she was doing.

A few days later, Willow slipped Sebastian a sealed envelope in the Slytherin common room.

"You got them?" He whispered, awe-struck. The common room was still fairly full of students doing homework, playing chess – and probably eavesdropping. He couldn't be too careful.

"Not everything." She said darkly. "Sluggy's out of Boomslang skin – would you believe? I got the Bicorn horn, though."

"You raided the store cupboard." It wasn't a question – more a statement of disbelief.

She rolled her eyes. "What else was I supposed to do? Anyway… that's all I could get."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, restless. "Thanks and all, but where am I going to get Boomslang skin? I can't exactly _ask him for it_."

Willow shrugged.

"I know someone who can get it." Said Sebastian. "But I really wish I didn't have to ask him – agh, blimey…"

"Who?" Asked Willow.

"My brother."


	4. Chapter 4 - Letters

The thing about Sebastian's family, was that all of them, save for he and his brother, were muggles – a fact he'd learnt to keep very private about given the sheer volume of pure-blood elitists in Slytherin, not that being called a 'Mudblood' would bother him in the slightest; it was simply easier to do without the attention. This was both a curse and a blessing for Sebastian. On the one hand, he'd be able to get away with things like this absurd plan of his without his parents ever suspecting what was going on, for the mundane fact that they'd have no idea where to begin with it. They were still trying to wrap their heads around the concept of magic alone. The curse part was Vince. If Vince had been a muggle, he'd be the leader of a drug ring or a shady money-laundering club – Sebastian had speculated about it many times. It was when Vince came home one day after months away (he told their parents that 'work kept him on the move' – which to them, could mean anything) wearing dragon-hide trousers that Sebastian suspected something fishy going on. No one without the right connections got a job that paid them that well after being out of school for only two years. Of course, when Sebastian had asked, he'd winked and said: "One day I'll introduce you to my work, little brother," which had frustrated him no end. Vince told their parents that he was working for the Department of Mysteries. They'd lapped that up without a second thought, much to Sebastian's dismay – lately, Vince had disclosed that he could get hold of absolutely anything he wanted to get his hands on. How? Ironically, it was a mystery. Vince was shrouded in the stuff – and he loved to play to the mysterious image. Despite Sebastian's misgivings with his brother, he decided that his best and perhaps only option at this point was to contact him.

"What does he look like?" Willow had shamelessly asked when Sebastian told her about him. They were emptying out of the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom – Sebastian had, once again found his gaze fixated on the back of Alex's curly-haired head. His stomach back flipped when Alex turned around and met his eye for a split second. Willow thwacked him hard on the arm.

"Oi. Are you listening?"

"Me, but a taller, sleazier version." Sebastian replied disapprovingly, all the while watching Alex pack away his books.

Willow thought about this. "So, better looking, basically?"

Sebastian sighed. Alex could definitely hear all of this – Willow certainly wasn't the quiet type. That's why he preferred to talk to her alone.

"He'd tell you that." Said Sebastian.

Willow tutted. "Speaking of – you should take better care of your appearance – your hair's too long."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't care. Stop fussing over me." Sebastian's hair was the polar opposite to Alex's rusty, wild curls; it was dark, smooth and straight, constantly threatening to hang over his clear, grey eyes and just about long enough to tie up, which he often did.

By now, Alex was being led by his troupe of ecstatic followers from the classroom. Sebastian had noticed a change in Alex recently; his smiles around his friends were becoming fewer and fewer – more often than not his gaze was far-away and glassy. It was times like this that Sebastian wished he could be close to Alex and talk to him. It was times like this that reminded him why he was going to such drastic measures to get there. Their eyes met momentarily for a second time. Sebastian turned away. That was happening so much today…

Willow had been following his gaze. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? Do you want to be more obvious? I think a couple of people over in Durmstrang weren't dazzled by your longing stares."

Sebastian glared at her.

"I'll tell Natalie Ford what you did to her cat." He threatened.

Willow put on a winning smile. "Want me to carry some of your books?"

That night, he and Willow constructed a letter to Vince in the common room. Emerald flames licked the marble fireplace and glowed across the blank parchment.

"Surely he'll guess what it's for." Said Willow. "I mean… what else can you use Boomslang Skin for?"

"Some ageing potions." Said Sebastian tapping his chin. "And the Girding potion… I think."

He began the letter:

Vince,

I'm writing to ask if you could possibly obtain –

"Wait, wait, wait" – Willow stopped him. "That sounds a bit – formal."

Sebastian looked at her. "And?"

"Well, he's your brother. Why don't you put, 'Dear, Vince.'"

Sebastian snorted. "Yeah, right. My 'dear' brother. That's funny."

He continued:

I'm writing to ask if you could possibly obtain Boomslang skin and send it to me.

"You're just gonna jump right in there and ask for it?" Said Willow, frowning at the page.

Sebastian huffed and thrust the parchment at her. "Why don't you write it, then? Merlin's beard, it's not a bloody love letter."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Men. You haven't got an ounce of subtlety."

"I don't need subtlety. I need to make Polyjuice potion."

He finished the letter with Willow in haughty silence beside him. She read it over and handed it back with a sniff.

"It'll do." She said. "But I'm sure it would help if you sounded a little nicer."

He shook his head. "You don't know Vince. He thinks I'm an idiot so it doesn't matter anyway."

Willow frowned. "How old is he?"

"Twenty-one." Said Sebastian, "Why? Don't get any funny ideas."

Willow smirked. "I might. I'd love to see my dad's face if I brought home a criminal." She laughed at his expression. "I'm joking. I'm sure he doesn't think you're an idiot. Older siblings always baby the younger ones – it's natural."

"Whatever you say." Said Sebastian. Willow was giving him that look again. That pitying look like he was missing something huge about himself that only she could see. It annoyed him because it was probably true. "I'll post the letter tomorrow. With any luck, we'll have the ingredients by next week. We have a Transfiguration test tomorrow. Let's go to bed."

The next day, it snowed – the first snow of the year, and it certainly didn't disappoint. Huge, fat snowflakes adorned the Hogwarts grounds and iced the many turrets and ledges like a giant cake. By the time Sebastian had started to make his way to the owlery, he was ankle deep in snow, and shivering despite being wrapped up in three scarves. He didn't do well with the cold. The owlery steps were steep and small and, to Sebastian's dismay, icy as they could possibly be. The climb to the owlery took him a long time, he was being so precarious, all the while his letter to Vince was clutched in his hand, the parchment getting soaked in the snow. He'd used non-smudgeable ink so hopefully the worst that would happen was that the parchment would get crinkly once it dried.

The owlery itself was pleasant refuge from the cold and snow. Usually, Sebastian would be mildly disgusted by the floor, covered in owl droppings and the strong smell, but all that seemed to create a refreshing heat. Sebastian tried hard not to think about where it came from as he picked a tawny owl and tied his letter to its leg.

As Sebastian left the owlery, he almost bumped into someone.

"Sorry." He said, stumbling back inside, and then he got the shock of his life when he saw a tuft of bronze curls sticking out from under a thick, woolly hat. He stared, his heart stopped, into a pair of wide green eyes.

"It's okay." Said Alex.

This was the first time they'd said a word to each other since that night five years ago. Sebastian felt his stomach drop to his knees. He stumbled past Alex at the top of the stairs, his head lowered, and in his haste to get away, slipped on the ice.

Sebastian fell backwards spectacularly and slid down at least ten steps before coming to a halt, flat on his back. Numb, Sebastian scrambled upright, holding onto the wall and dared himself to look back.

Alex stood still at the top, his hand outstretched in mid-air where he'd tried to stop Sebastian from falling down. Their eyes met, both equally shocked, for a full second, before Alex's face broke out into an unstoppable grin and he doubled over laughing, his cheeks and the tip of his nose reddened by the cold.

All Sebastian could do was stare at him, his mouth slightly agape in surprise. He didn't know what to do, what to say. Alex's laugh was so wonderful, so heartfelt, even though he was trying his best to cover it with his hands, it bubbled through in joyous bursts, and Sebastian was lost to it. Alex stopped when he realised that Sebastian wasn't laughing too. He opened his mouth, as though to speak, then closed it.

Sebastian was washed, then, with a wave of embarrassment. He'd just fallen, flat on his arse, in front of the person he'd been in love with for five years, and had absolutely nothing to say for himself.

Distraught with himself, Sebastian turned around sharply and bolted down the stairs as quickly as he could. The falling snow melted on his face, it was so heated with humiliation. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Most of all, he couldn't believe that Alex had almost spoken to him. He'd laughed at him, yes, but nothing about it had been malicious or directed at Sebastian in a nasty way. Rather, he'd seemed genuinely amused and almost familiar with Sebastian. It was strange. Perhaps Alex didn't hate him so much after all.


End file.
